Pilato dives in search of balance: "I just want to feel good"

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“It's all a balance above the madness”, Vasco Rossi sang in “Sally”, but in the case of Benedetta Pilato there is the search for a balance, for stability in and out of the water. This is the wish that the Italian breaststroker makes for herself, to be well. At the root of everything are the hormonal problems due to the fact that she suffers from polycystic ovary syndrome. The swimmer has always, even in the past, expressed herself on the difficulties in managing certain problems that can affect performance in the water. “It's hard to understand and explain. I'm not saying I've learned to live with it, that's not true, but I'm trying to understand myself and listen to myself, even if it's one of the most complex things, it's different every time. There's a mental and physical aspect, in my case I don't have control over my body which should be the only thing to have: I'm not saying I go crazy but it affects that part too. I do everything I can and I'm trying as I have done in the past. I don't know what point I'm at as an athlete, maybe there isn't even a point, it's all cyclical. I can also say that I'm fine now and in two weeks it could be different. I don't feel like saying "I'm great, everything's resolved", it's something I have to live with".

On the horizon is the Settecolli in Rome, from June 26 to 28, to grab the qualification for the World Championships in Singapore in July (July 11 – August 3). It is a competition that she does not want to miss, but which she conceives differently than in the past. “I am trying to resolve certain things: I do not want to miss the World Championships, it is a goal of mine, but I have a lot of other things to think about at the moment, my priority is trying to feel good. I want to be there, I have not missed a World Championship in many years, it is something I aspire to despite everything around it”. At the moment she is trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle in order to dive into the water at the Settecolli without too many worries. She will be able to try to snatch the pass only in the 50 breaststroke, the 100 have already been “taken” by colleagues Lisa Angiolini and Anita Bottazzo. The 50 has always been her dimension, the favorite distance that will now also arrive at the Olympic Games. “It’s an opportunity, in these years, how can I say…. I’ve often been at the center of this controversy about whether or not I’ll get the 50 at the Olympics and whether or not I’ll get the 100. I had to adapt to a race that still didn’t belong to me completely. That’s okay, this is sport, I’m very happy that it has become an Olympic distance”. Thinking about the present, however, she can’t make predictions about what could happen in that pool in Rome. “It will be a different race than usual, I’ll try to be as calm as possible and experience it as best I can. I’ve never found myself in the situation of having to qualify so late”. At the Unipol Spring Championships, when there was time to fly to Singapore, she preferred not to compete and, as she often says, listen to her body.

She had never wanted to “escape” and disconnect so much. “It had never happened to me, I think you have to find yourself in situations, it wasn’t a normal one in which to compete at these levels, it wasn’t a context in which I felt comfortable”. First of all, there is in fact a girl, or rather she says “woman (despite her 20 years, ed.), I have lived experiences that have led me to have a path different from my peers. I try to live my age, knowing that I have a “double life”, I am a normal girl but in the pool everything changes”. When she talks about experiences you can’t help but think, for example, of that world record she set at 16 (29.30 in the 50 breaststroke) when school books called and also oral exams. “I was more reckless, who wouldn’t be? It was normal for me: now I realize how great certain things were that I did and that I didn’t enjoy at the time. For me it was something simple, of little importance, when in reality it’s not like that. Now, however, I don’t chase any result, I’ve always continued to swim, my body has changed and I have changed. There is a path to take and the results go hand in hand”. Among the changes is having gone to live in Turin alone: ​​“I do everything – she admits – I cook, I wash, I don’t hold back. I stop when I go home, before it helped me to go to school, I didn’t have time to think about anything else”. In the future, apart from finding her balance, she hopes to travel more. Furthermore, she continues her studies and has left the Fiamme Oro and is only a member of Aniene. "I get a salary from them and I'm lucky, because I have the strongest swimming club behind me that can afford to give a hand to high-level athletes. It's a privileged situation. Swimming is not a sport that has so much visibility, there's a long way to go even for professionalism."

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